Little Fat Orange
Once upon a time there was a fat tiny girl dressed head to toe in orange so people called her Little Fat Orange.
One day her mother told Little Fat Orange that her Grandma, the wise lady was sick and asked her if she would go to give some magic medicine to her Grandma on the other side of the dark, murky swamp. Little Fat Orange said yes because she was a very sweet girl and always helped people if they asked for help.
So Little Fat Orange went to go see her Grandma to give her the magic medicine. First she was good and stayed on the path but after a while she saw some apple trees away from the path. She decided to pick some sweet, juicy apples. Soon her basket was filled to the brim with apples. Little Fat Orange went to go to the path again but she had wandered so far she did not where it was for she was lost.
Just then a giant, venomous snake suddenly appeared and said, “Hello little girl, are you lost?”
Little Fat Orange said, “Yes” and asked the giant venomous snake if he could show her the way.
He said, “Yes, but only if I can come to Grandmas house too.”
Little Fat Orange said, “OK.”
Little Fat Orange skipped to Grandmas with the snake. Suddenly the snake said to Little Fat Orange, “I am going to take a shortcut to get to Grandma’s because I am a snake and very slow,” and off went the snake.
A little bit later the snake arrived at Granny’s candy cottage. Since she was a wise lady she had cast a spell to make her house a candy house. The snake knocked on the hollow door of the yummy candy house and the wise lady said, “Come in.” So the giant, venomous snake came in and locked Granny in the cupboard! Then he got into bed and hid under the warm covers and waited for Little Fat Orange.
Soon Little Fat Orange came hopping along and knocked on the door of Granny’s house. The giant, venomous snake said, “Come in,” and Little Fat Orange came in to Granny’s cottage but as soon as she came in she noticed something strange.
“My grandma what big teeth you have,” said Little Fat Orange. “All the better to poison you my dear,” said the giant, venomous snake and sprang at Little Fat Orange. Little Fat Orange was filled with alarm and immediately started to run away from the giant, venomous snake screaming, “Help, help!”
A very powerful wizard was nearby and heard Little Fat Orange’s cries and came to help her. The very powerful wizard changed the giant venomous snake into a block of icy cold ice and together they found Granny. They set her free and they all lived happily ever after and the snake learned to never try to eat people ever again.
By James B
1 comment:
James, I really enjoyed reading your fractured fairytale. You enjoyed our Fairytales unit and this shows in the quality of your writing. You have worked well towards achieving the learning intention which was to rewrite a known fairy tale using the elements of narrative writing. You used the success criteria to help you create an entertaining fairytale. I particularly like the interesting words you have used to add detail to your story e.g. dark, murky swamp and sweet juicy apples. Ka pai! Your next step is to work on including more language features such as similes in your writing.
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